Quote of the Week
“Problems cannot be solved by thinking within the framework in which they were created.” ___Albert Einstein, genius
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The advice on this page will help you cultivate a mindset that feels good. Everyone’s struggle is different, but I hope you are able to find some help on these pages. Remember, nothing on this site is meant to be used as a medical diagnosis or treatment. These pros (and I) are addressing a general audience, and do not know your personal situation. It is up to you to follow advice that works for you. If you are interested in finding more personal treatment, there are some great resources at the bottom.
I met Dr. Goodman when I was in tremendous pain, spending all my time in bed or being driven (sometimes carried) to medical appointments. He greeted me with understanding, empathy, tough love, and a little Yiddish. And he never accepted that survival was all I had in me. I had just quit my job and was pulling back from most social dealings because of chronic migraine. Healing myself became my big and only pastime and, suddenly, my life was all about me. I got stuck living in my own mind- not a healthy place to stay for too long. Dr. Goodman showed me how to pull myself outta there and back into life. I am grateful to have this opportunity to share some of his advice.
Dr. Goodman is a licensed Clinical Psychologist, certified Hypnotherapist, certified Biofeedback Technician and certified Disaster Mental Health Response Specialist. He is a graduate of the Chicago School of Psychology formally the California Graduate Institute as well as the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. He is on faculty at UCLA as a lecturer, clinical instructor and clinician working as Chief Clinical Pain and Health Psychologist in the Orofacial Pain Department of the UCLA Dental School.
47 Tools for Happiness by Dr. Don Goodman
- Think less with your brain (this comes from fear) and more with your heart (this comes from love).
- Care less intently about yourself and trust yourself more.
- Love yourself and others more.
- Be committed, supportive, trusting and respecting towards yourself and then you can love others the same way.
- Let go, live life, have fun.
- Don’t take me so seriously.
- Don’t take yourself so seriously.
- Don’t take life so seriously, seriously!
- Pay more attention to the positive and less to the negative.
- Negative thoughts don’t only include negative emotions but questions about ourselves and our abilities. They usually start with: can I, what if, where, when, how and especially why!
- Don’t make a project out of yourself. Focus less on being a perfectionist and more on embracing your flaws; flaws are what make us human…
Is there a piece of advice that helps you to live well? Share your own tools for happiness with us. Message us and once approved, your advice will be shared on this page.
Process, Patience, Practice: Principles of Empowered Psychotherapy by Dr. Don Goodman
- One does not wait for others to behave in any given way in order to allow us to be happy. In other words we are responsible for our own happiness and we are in charge of our own feelings and behaviors. Others do not make us feel angry, sad, depressed, etc.
- It is the role of the therapist to instill hope in the patient by empowering the patient to say the things they need to say. Learning to communicate in a healthy, coherent way helps the patient gain emotional strength, further facilitating the patient to move out of the helpless, self-involved state.
- The therapist must help to strengthen the patient to confront the traumas and losses of the past and let go not only of these losses and traumas but to let go of too many questions about the future.
- The therapist can also focus on Mindfulness, teaching to be in the present, not to take oneself, others or life too seriously and to have fun in life. Let go of: judgement, analysis , punishment, criticism and blame towards oneself and then towards others.
- Good therapy requires trust and rapport between patient and therapist first.
- Good Therapy helps the patient establish boundaries for their thoughts and behaviors.
Interested in Therapy?
As an afternote, I want to tell you that I was one of those people who had to be pushed into therapy. I thought, “How could therapy help? My problems are physical.” Let me tell you, therapy helped (in my case) more than any rest or medication. I highly recommend talking to a professional if you have the opportunity. But if not, there are a multitude of wonderful books that can assist you with your efforts to live a better life. Please see our Live Better Book List.
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